13 Red Flags in Relationship With Women You Should Never Ignore27.12.2021
You think you are dating the perfect woman. You instantly fall in love with her and she looks amazing – your friends also love her. There is always something wrong. Tension is building as tension builds and arguments keep breaking out.
It’s important to identify red flags in women when things aren’t going well. You can identify them earlier rather than later and work together to end the relationship or resolve any issues.
Argument between Man and Woman
I have had my fair share of difficult relationships. I wish I could have learned to recognize red flags months earlier.
To save you the pain, I have connected myself to the Reddit Hivemind. These are the red flags that men often fail to notice – and they can be too late for them to fix.
The list includes 14 points. These points are the result of John Gottman’s 40-year-old experience as a respected relationship expert and professor emeritus of the University of Washington.
He believes men should be open to criticism, contempt and defensiveness. He calls them together the four horsemen in an apocalyptic partnership.
#1 She is always critical of you
There is a huge difference between complaining and criticizing.
The complaint is “I was concerned that you were late and didn’t call me.”
Criticizing means “You’re not forgetful. You’re selfish.” You don’t think of me!
You can see the difference.
Everyone has a tendency to criticize and lash out from time-to-time. We are all human. However, using you repeatedly as an emotional punching bag should not be tolerated. This can lead to the three horsemen.
#2 She Treats you with Contempt
Treating someone with contempt is to use mockery, sarcasm and disrespect. It means that your girlfriend doesn’t take serious discussions seriously.
How will this affect you? This will make you feel devalued and unloved. This is something that no one deserves. If this sounds familiar to you, then work together on it.
#3 She gets defensive
Blaming others for their problems is the third horseman in an apocalyptic love story. If someone makes a mistake they have two options: they can say sorry, admit it and defend themselves or they can make a retraction. However, defensiveness can only escalate the conflict. It places the blame on someone else.
“Sorry” is a powerful word in life and especially in relationships. This is a sign that your girlfriend is not willing to say sorry and admit her mistakes, because no one is perfect.
Pro tip: Sometimes “I’m sorry” is not enough!
#4 She Stonewalls you when there is a problem
Refusal to engage is a red flag for women. Stonewalling can be a way to show contempt in a relationship. Your girlfriend refuses to engage in conversation with you, instead of not being serious about a conversation.
John Gottman states that refusing to talk, acting busy or otherwise refusing to take part with you can indicate that your girlfriend is not physiologically ready to have rational discussions.
This sounds familiar? You should take a break. Some people need only 20 minutes to calm themselves down. Others may need days to calm down. In this case, you might want to reconsider if the relationship is serious.
#5 She has Different Cleaning Habits Than You
It seems so small, right? It can lead to arguments.
Do you think your girlfriend prefers things to be neater than you do? You will be constantly criticized by your girlfriend for not doing more cleaning. Is your girlfriend a good example of how to clean up after yourself? You will make her more frustrated if you don’t keep things in their place.
Over time, frustration will build between you and your partner. This is a deep-rooted habit that can be very difficult to break.
Although it’s possible to overcome this, I recommend that you first find out how clean your girlfriend is before taking any major decisions.
#6 She needs constant assurance
Although it might seem harsh to see this red flag among women, it is the truth. Your girlfriend will not be happy if they aren’t themselves.
Everybody needs an occasional emotional boost. If you do it constantly for her, how can she? One of my most difficult life lessons is that you have to first love yourself before you can love another.
#7 She is Always Talking To Her Ex
Let me be blunt: chatting with your ex girlfriend regularly after they split less than six months ago is a terrible sign.
It’s okay to chat to your ex from time-to-time. A girl who blocks all her exes is also a red flag.
However, her frequent contact with her ex-boyfriend indicates that the relationship isn’t over. There is a chance that you could be ‘the rebound boyfriend’.
#8 She’s a Drama Queen
This one sounds familiar? Your girlfriend has it worse than you. Every situation is a soap opera and everyone has a vendetta against her. Oneupmanship is not a competition with a winner.
One Redditor said it this way:
“If she is sick, she’s on the deathbed.”
It is extremely important because you will not feel supported emotionally.
#9 She doesn’t read or push herself to grow
If you are anything like me, reading is a passion. Perhaps you take courses at your local university or college to broaden your horizons. Perhaps you are just curious. It’s not a good sign if your girlfriend doesn’t enjoy learning and reading, or looks down upon these things.
Ask a girl you meet on a first date whether she is currently reading a book. You might ask her why she hasn’t read any books in the past year. A year can seem like a long time, even though life is hectic.
You are ultimately the sum of all the people around you. You can’t learn and grow if your wife or girlfriend isn’t encouraging you and developing alongside of you.
#10 She’s Always On The Phone 24/7
It’s a wonderful thing when my wife sends me messages when she is out and about. It’s a sign that she cares about me. However, there is a limit to what she can do.
Here are some comments from Redditors about an ex:
“When I told her that we had been texting too much, she would text her saying she wanted to talk to me about certain things but she didn’t because she was afraid I would be mad at her for texting.”
It is a violation of natural boundaries if your girlfriend messages you all day, every hour. This will prevent you from being productive and focused on your work, as well as allowing you to spend quality time with your friends outside of business hours.
#11 She shares secrets with you from other people
Although gossip is not easy, it is essential for society. It would be heard through the grapevine.
While gossip is one thing, it is not something you should do. Your girlfriend will likely break trust with her friends if she does this. This also suggests that she may share your secrets with you, so be careful.
Here’s a tongue twister Redditors claimed they heard as kids:
“What Susie says about Sally is more indicative of Susie than Sally.”
What’s the worst? Do you see someone embarrassing yourself or telling the world about it?
#12 She Plays Games with You and Your Feelings
It doesn’t really matter if your age is 18 or 88. No matter how old you may be, you won’t find a girl who loves to play games any more. Enough already.
Let me summarize the Reddit hivemind here.
“We are not in high school and you’re not on the Bachelorette. We’ll get along fine if you are honest, sincere and open-minded. “I’m in my mid-thirties, so I’m too old and rickety for jumping through hoops.”
#13 She is using you to cheat on someone else
They’ll tell you that you are different than their exes and you won’t believe them. Realism: You’re not “different” from their exes.
They will also break up with your partner when you meet the next Mr. The truth is, they will break up with you too when the next ‘Mr.
When you are in a relationship, it can be difficult to see the truth. These red flags in women can help you identify if you are in a relationship that is not working out for you. If you don’t, you might be able to appreciate what you have!