How Not to Hook up With an Ex During the Holidays16.12.2021
The holidays can be a great time to feel lonely, whether you’re going back to your hometown to watch a Hallmark movie or simply feeling lonely. It is easy to lose yourself in the memories of good holidays past and wish that you had a partner to snuggle up with. This is a bad idea. Here are some ways to keep yourself from reaching out.
While it’s nice to think back to the sweet moments of exchanging gifts or visiting with families, you are doing yourself a disservice by not thinking about the hurt feelings or fights that occurred during that time.
- Be realistic and ignore certain Christmas lyrics
The mind can be very complicated. We humans have a tendency not to see the negative aspects of the past, but we tend to love the positive parts. The old belief that women’s brains suppress the pain of childbirth to highlight the joy of holding a newborn baby is true. This is in order to ensure that they continue having children and populating the world. It can be difficult to think about your ex. While it’s nice to think back to the sweet moments of exchanging gifts or visiting their families, you are doing yourself a disservice by not thinking about the hurt feelings or fights that occurred during that time.
Two Christmas songs are a good example of how to view old relationships during this season. “Christmas Baby Please come Home)” was originally recorded by Darlene love. It has been covered many times by Mariah Carey and U2, Cher and many more. It’s our example for how to view an old relationship around the holidays in a wrong way: “They’re singing Deck the Halls, but it’s really not Christmas, because I remember when we were here and all the fun that we had last year.”
This is where “all the fun” from last year doesn’t help. You wouldn’t romance someone if your relationship was healthy and fun all year.
Let’s instead look at a song that demonstrates how to think about ex-partners during the holidays. It’s Wham’s “Last Christmas”, you are correct! The song begins with “Last Christmas”, which is Wham’s opening line. To save me from crying, this year I’ll give it away to someone special.
This is so much more real! It’s not necessary to forgive your ex-fiancée’s past mistakes just because it’s the season that brings love and light. They have the right to keep them, and the memories of the past mistakes can be used to remind you that you deserve better. It’s not a bad idea to spend this holiday season alone. Spend it on yourself!
The reality is that your relationship didn’t work before, and it won’t after the artificial tree is gone. These are some questions you might ask yourself
Although George Michael and Mariah Carey are both great, their songs may not be the answer. You need to speak with an expert.
‘Plenty of Fish’ dating expert Kate MacLean suggested that you ask a few questions to make sure you don’t end up in a relationship with your ex during the holidays. Think about the number of times you have split with this person. Next, write down the reasons.
She said that having these reminders clearly written down can change your perspective. It’s very difficult to make your relationship work again if the breakup was caused by values and goals that were not compatible. Although people can make changes, the foundational values and goals that are set for a relationship are usually in place. They can be the difference between a good and a bad relationship, regardless of how long it has been.
You can still link up for a few more weeks to see light displays and ring in the New Year, but it is likely that your relationship will not work again after the artificial tree is returned to storage. Are you willing to have another split with the exact same person? This is a horrible way to start a new year.
Next, ask “How long ago have we broken up?” MacLean said that loneliness can creep in quickly and people often resort to texting their ex for comfort, especially during stressful times like the holidays, or when they are going through major life changes such as the pandemic.
POF recently surveyed 2,000 singles and found that 55% would consider getting back together post-pandemic. Consider why you are considering this. If you are experiencing turmoil in a part of your life, and you want to find something that will work for you in the future, it might be worth looking at your present problems instead of trying to use another person as a security blanket.
- Keep busy with the important stuff
There are plenty of things to do right now. There are many things to do right now: decorations to make, end-of-year goals, gift exchanges with friends, parties to go to, cards to write, distant relatives that you need to call…
Keep your eyes on the things that are happening at the moment. Spend some time dressing up for the company party or wrapping a gift for a friend. You can volunteer with an organization that assists disadvantaged people at this time of the year, or help your parents with their house chores. It’s good to show kindness and it’s good to remain independent when faced with loneliness.
You can also keep busy by meeting new people! You can re-download your old apps and be open to making advances at holiday parties. Do not let your nostalgia for an era gone by or your need for a quick, reliable hookup keep you from meeting someone new. Let the past go. The new year is upon us.