How to be Completely ‘Ugly’ For Your Next Ugly Sweater Party

Although the annual tradition of choosing garish sweaters to wear to holiday parties is over, maybe your bosses or friends haven’t gotten the memo. Here are some tips for how to get to an ugly sweater party if you have been invited.

A brief history of ugly holiday sweaters

In the 1950s, the holiday sweater was culturally significant. This was before pop culture irony. Therefore, wearing a sweater that had a winter theme was not considered a joke. Most sweaters were elegant and simple. Boring, you might say.

The holiday sweater was a low-key style throughout the ’60s & ’70s. But it really took off in the 1980s when loud sweaters became popular.

Although no one knows the exact date of the first Christmas sweater party, it was evident that the trend to buy ugly Christmas sweaters at thrift shops was becoming a popular urban trend. Ugly holiday sweater parties became a popular trend in the 2000s.

Nowadays, the ugly holiday sweater is so culturally accepted that you can buy one of thousands of different varieties in any big box store, from “hilarious” references to Rick and Morty from uglychristmassweaters.com to this monstrosity, where you pay $70 to advertise for Ford.

It is no longer necessary because of the cultural acceptance and easy availability of this Christmas tradition. It used to be possible to make a DIY curator-creativity out of thrifting an ugly sweater. You could also wear it in public to make a smart-ass statement. But when it’s easy to buy one at Wal-Mart and everyone does it, the humor or irony is lost.

Tacky sweater parties are something we enjoy. A party with a theme is always festive. Ugly Christmas sweaters will spark conversations and make people laugh. Although it may not work as well as strong rum punches, it is still a good idea. There are two options for handling the “dress code” at such an event: Get classy or overdo it, according to me.

It is impossible to have too much. You will need to be outrageous if you want to win this ugly sweater contest. You will need an ugly sweater that is too bizarre for Target, and accessories to make it even worse. Luckily, late capitalism has you covered. Examples below.

The handmade “Yeti”, beaded sweater by Etsy seller TackyUgly Christmas, is one of the most hideous pieces of clothing I’ve ever seen. It comes with lights, feathers and a stuffed animal.

The Walking Christmas Tree Abject from Etsy seller Tacky Ugly Sweaters is a stretch of the definition of “sweater” that looks painful to wear. It’s worth it, though.

DuseysDesignsOnADime offers the absolutely horrific Barbie on a pole design that you can see below. It’s just so…homemade.

These are only a few examples of the many thousands of designs on Etsy, but they’re not loud enough. Accessorize! This Christmas tree headband is a great option. It can be adorned with ornaments and lights. Or you can crown yourself the King/Queen of Christmas with this headband. Eye makeup is optional. Don’t forget your Santa boots, Christmas cape, and get ready to party!

The 1984 WarGames supercomputer, who was a rogue supercomputer, said it best: “Strange Game.” The only way to win is not playing.

Joshua/WOPR was referring to global thermonuclear warfare, but the same principle applies to ugly Christmas sweater parties. It’s important not to be a spoilsport. You need to do something but don’t have the obligation to buy into the whole thing. It’s possible to honor the festive spirit at a holiday gathering without having to buy a boring sweater that you will only wear once.

You might try the stylish sweater from Talbots or this Bjorn Norwiegan sweater by Icewear. Both would look fantastic during any seasonal activity, including buying a Christmas tree or weeping after drinking too many eggsnog.

As with all fashion, Christmas party wear should reflect your personal style. Perhaps you prefer a look like the one from Gold x Teel. You can also check out the Festive Charm cardigan by Sundance if you prefer rich, old white lady couture (floppy hats and Uggs available separately).

All the above advice assumes that you live in a world where parties are the norm for the holidays. You don’t have to hide from the plague if you, like me, plan on spending the holidays in hiding. There’s no need to worry about holiday sweaters. You can wear the same stained Stoop shirt that you’ve worn since August.