How to deal with a friend who is flirting with your partner

Human interaction can be beautiful, messy, and frustrating. If you are annoyed by your friend’s interactions and your partner’s behavior, it may not be just them. You could be an insecure person. Every situation is unique.

This case, which was posted to Reddit, is pretty straightforward. “It’s been obvious that my friend likes attention from different men. She’s single and enjoys having fun. Since the last year, I’ve noticed her flirting with my husband, together for 7 years.”

The user continued, “She loves to chat with him one-on-one and always lights up when he is around. She often texts him funny songs and memes (she never text me), and she often asks me if we can meet up. He’s been casually invited by her to meet up at a bar that I couldn’t attend because I was working late the previous day.”

“The other day, my husband picked me from a day out to her with some other girls. When I told him, “My husband is coming to pick me up,” and as I was leaving the restaurant, one of my friends said, “OH, I’m going say hi to him” and then proceeded to run to his car. I thought, “Wtf.. what is she doing?” I chatted with him eagerly. He said he also sees my concern.”

“But I don’t know how I should confront my friend…and it’s getting irritating. What should I do?”

Cue: The smartest response to this situation: Don’t make your friend jealous by telling them to stop. Instead, get together with your partner.

If she pulls this stuff in front of you, don’t be afraid exchange amused glances and knowing glances with your husband. One user-savant suggested that it is important to make it clear that you are laughing at her expense.

Others agreed: “My husband did this with his attention-seeking, annoying co-worker. He tried to flirt with me in front of him. It works!”

This advice was miles ahead of other recommendations such as, “If your friend isn’t interested in dealing directly with you, and you want to maintain that relationship status quo,” ask your husband to stop replying to her texts. Do not respond to text messages, end conversations in person and stop hanging out with 3 people.

While this is a good idea, we prefer a coordinated shutdown.

You can be more traditional in your flirt-attack if you want.

Don’t confront him. It won’t work. You’ll be gaslighted by her and tell her that you’re crazy and jealous. Talk to your husband. Her odd behavior should be pointed out. You might have to establish ground rules, and perhaps an ultimatum, if he enjoys the attention.

He must shut her down. He must reject her. This will not only make her feel better, but also keep you from being the one with the problem.

This user decided to offer advice to the husband of the thread author: “If he is ever left alone with his friend, whether by accident or because she pushed her way in, just continue saying great things about OP (the thread author). She is so beautiful, smart, funny, and fit.”

“This will be like water for the Wicket Witch in the West to her friend, who is seeking attention and an ego boost. She will not be able tolerate hearing such wonderful things about another woman, particularly her friend.”