How to Get More Positive Responses from Your Tinder

You probably know by now that dating apps allow you to swipe a lot. Swiping. You can keep going. You might be wondering, even if you have a lot of matches, why aren’t sparks flying between you and your partner?

If your inbox is full of “hey”, it’s easy for you to feel discouraged. You’re not the only one. Psychology Today has published new research that suggests that online dating may be changing. This article highlights a desire to have more genuine, authentic experiences with your partner. These are some tips to help you have better conversations on your preferred dating app.

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Specificity is important in both your profile as well as your DMs. One of great secrets to getting answers is to ask a specific question. Instead of asking “what were you doing today?” (boringly cliched, vague), ask “what will you eat for lunch today? Give me some ideas” (specific and unexpected). This starts a conversation about our mutual love for Thai leftovers, which seamlessly transitions into plans for Thai food at their favorite place. This trick has another key component. You must be asking the right questions.

This is your personality and makes it easier for your partner to respond with fun and flirty comments. Comment on their profile to comment on something, as it is likely less common than someone else’s response.

Show, don’t tell

You must make your profile as easy to swipe as possible before anyone can make their first move. Next, look over your profile and change any negative adjectives (even those that are true) Replace any adjectives (even if they’re true!) with real examples. Try to use humor that shows your sense of humor, rather than pointing out it. Instead of focusing on how you are “grinding” (ugh), mention a current project that you are excited about. You will be more interesting and will also help to start a conversation.

Instead of boring cliche “what were you doing today?” ask “what did your lunch look like today?”

The main way to show-not tell is to choose the right photos, which can usually be worth around a thousand words. We have written before about how to choose the right photos for dating apps (check our previous articles). Another way to get started is to add a photo with the sole purpose for starting a conversation. This could be a meme like “tag yourself” or a classic picture of you and your pet. Rethink your fifth selfie. Instead, try to find a photo that, according to Match’s chief dating expert Rachel DeAlto, “can make reaching people a little easier.”

Keep your mind open

For the Washington Post, Jelena Kecmanovic, a clinical psychologist, suggested that you relax your criteria. You might need to expand your age or location filters. Or you could be the one who initiates contact with profiles that don’t usually catch your attention. You should think about this: While swiping can be used to make quick judgments, in real life you are more open-minded and thoughtful towards potential partners.

Personalize your messages

It’s easy to see the lines you use in your shot, just like with cover letters. Refinery29’s Melissa Hobley, Global Chief Market Officer at OkCupid, stated that sending “hey!” as your first message has an 84% chance to be ignored. This is a good passing grade as long as you don’t get your goal ignored.

It is important to put effort into your opening lines if you want to stand out.

Ask a friend to look at your profile

This one is easy. Just ask your friend if he/ she would swipe you or not.

Realize your plans ASAP

Online dating platforms tend to recommend that you make in-person dates sooner than later. Kecmanovic wrote in her Washington Post article that online daters most often complain about “frustration at how few times they get to meet someone in person” and “how rarely they end up liking people they meet”.

You can minimize frustration by planning right away. As long as you feel secure, it’s possible to avoid any unnecessary stress. This is the best way to communicate your intentions and close the door to possible online deceit. Stop reading now and ask strangers hyper-specific questions on the internet. Good luck.