What to Do if You Like Someone Who Does Not Picking Up Your Hints?
07.10.2021It’s so much fun to meet a new crush. When you feel butterflies, it’s easy to imagine your relationship with them. You can dress up when they are around. However, it can cause anxiety if they aren’t picking up your signals. Here are some suggestions.
- Be direct
You might feel direct or even overbearing when you are nervous around others. But your anxiety could be reducing your output. Do not overthink it or question if you have been clear enough. Be more direct. Communicating is essential, especially when you are trying to establish a long-lasting relationship. You’ll need to communicate well if you want to start a relationship. Get started now.
You might eventually have to tell them. It can be “corny”, but you will eventually need to tell them. If you have some time to yourself, you can say “I don’t know if it’s been noticed but I’ve really started liking you a lot. I hope you feel the exact same way because I am about to ask for your permission to take you out for a drink.”
- State your intentions clearly
The most likely outcome is one of the following: They will be surprised by your feelings and tell you that they didn’t realize how you felt. However, they may want to think about it. They’ll tell you they are interested in where things lead. Or they might say, “Thanks, but no thanks.” It doesn’t matter what happens it is better to tell them exactly how you feel, and get their feedback. You can then either move on or forward. This is better than sitting around and wondering what they feel.
- If this is the case, identify it
Is this person a colleague? Is this a roommate or coworker? Is there someone you would be happy to have as a roommate? If the other person isn’t picking up what you’re putting down, they might not see your existing relationship–whatever it is–as one that is conducive to anything romantic. This could be because they are not able to see the hints and you are not able to recognize them.
Don’t assume that the person isn’t feeling your feelings. Ask a friend or a colleague for their perspective. Although you may be able to make a move on a crush at school or work if you have been friends through an ex, you should not deny that there are obstacles that prevent this from happening.
- Find out if they are deliberately trying to ignore you or obtuse
Keep in mind, that some people are just polite and won’t hurt your feelings. Another reason someone might pretend not to notice your crush is that they are afraid of being retaliated against or simply send you negative vibes if they reject you.
It’s okay to say “All together now”. Do not pretend that they are misguided, confused or blind to your feelings if they really don’t feel you. Do you pick up on their signals that this is not something they wish to pursue? Be fair and rational. Rejection happens. Some people are not going to be interested in you. Acceptance is better than dwelling on it, even though it may sting.
- Get flirty
Start small if there aren’t any unusual circumstances. Flirt a little more. Your words should have some intention. Imagine that you have a crush upon a classmate. For example, you can save them a seat. Save the seat and tell them, “I held that seat for you. It’s a pleasure to sit beside you.”
Be more direct without being too creepy. Do not tell your friend that you like their outfit. You can say, “You look so pretty in that colour.” It’s slightly more romantic than nice. Do you see? Sometimes, actions speak louder then words. You will need to find answers when your subtly fails.
Mike Kinsella, a New Yorker, said that “I am more behavioral than verbal when it comes to communicating my interest in someone.” You can also take advantage of any accidental physical contact. It is okay to let it linger. It is important to be patient, as anything you say can pull back the curtain too far and take away the mystery. That’s what makes it so much fun.” He said that verbally communicating emotions can be “corny” so it’s best to have fun and flirt while you feel out.