Is it really possible to move on without hurting your ex’s feelings?

Is it really possible to move on without hurting your ex’s feelings?

15.07.2022 Off By manager_1

woman in pink and white striped crew neck shirt

Not long ago I was there with the rest of you (or those who enjoy their coffee with Good Morning World) and watched J.Lo talk about the moving and romantic proposal of Ben Affleck for marriage.

Jennifer from the Block singer was overcome by emotion and shared details about the moment Ben got down on one knee. She then swam in a bubble tub and wept. Jennifer told the story with stars in her eyes that Ben had said things she would “never forget”. Ben was in the background, so she showed her huge green rock and said “I Love You” to her. In a moment so intimate, he said back “I love you too,” in a moment that almost made us feel uncomfortable. It was there.

A full-circle romance such as this is easy to appreciate. It speaks to everybody in a way. It offers us all hope that “the one who got away” might not be gone forever. Even if we have three children, a solid 9-5, and a beach trailer (we don’t all have the same Hollywood money). It shows that true love can be found after 50. That blending families is possible. And that there really are no limitations to what could happen when it comes down to your deepest and most meaningful love. You could find it with someone you have loved before. Wild, right?

Listening to J.Lo describe how incredible it was to say “yes,” nearly twenty years after their first engagement, made me think more than “Isn’t love grand?” It was “Jennifer Garner must have the most focused woman of all human creation.” J.Gar can’t choose not to be. She’s public and clearly wants to help her children. She would have to be a robot to have any feelings about Bennifer 2.0 or about any of the intimate details of it being made public. This would be true regardless of the narrative, but for now it is that Ben felt that J.Lo was “the one who got away.” According to insiders.

Jen Garner is a brilliant actress, mother of the year, and amateur chef (at least in Instagram). She is at the top, and she’s killing it. She has a long-lasting acting career, including films like The Adam Project. But she also has a lot of interesting business ventures such as repping baby food or farming. She is also the mother of three beautiful, smart children, Sam, Seraphina and Violet. Recently, it was rumored that she was engaged to John Miller, her boyfriend.

However, no matter how amazing she appears to be doing, it doesn’t change the fact that she was married, loved, and lived for many years with Ben. This doesn’t take away the stress and pressure that comes from going through a public divorce. This kind of heartbreak may be even more common than the beautiful full-circle love moment that we are witnessing in real-time.

Although Ben and Jen Garner did not last, there was a time when it seemed like they were the perfect couple. Their relationship began with the comment that she brought him down to earth. The couple were seen eating hot dogs at Red Sox games, and they looked just like normal people in love. This is what Bennifer 2.0 looks today. It’s all glamour and glam. It seemed that Jennifer Garner was all he needed or wanted once upon a time. Instead of living happily ever après, however, there were three children, one affair, a serious drinking problem and a huge back tattoo. All of it led to a painful and public divorce. Jen stood by her ex despite all of this. Jen took her ex to rehab, picked up the pieces with his kids and continued co-parenting with her even though she thought she might die from all the sucking up (a truth that almost every human has had to share with someone who is hugely f***ing up).

It didn’t kill them. As a single mom, she’s not able to stop us. There’s no doubt that Ben’s decisions must have caused her immense pain. Jen, a class act, has been almost completely silent about their split. However, one interview did reveal that she was deeply hurt by learning that Ben no longer loves her. She said that he was still the love of her life, even after their split. He’s the brightest person in the room, charismatic, and generous. However, that love did not go both ways. She continued, “He’s just complicated man.” “I always say that when his sun shines upon you, it makes you feel it. It’s cold when the sun shines elsewhere. He can cast quite a shadow.” Anybody who has ever felt complete heartbreak knows that it is a very real feeling. It was too real.

It’s obvious that Bennifer 2.0 is a couple living in the moment. This is for many reasons. We can’t ignore the fact that they are real people, with real families, exes and histories to appreciate its beauty. They should be allowed to celebrate their love. Yes. It’s not 1993. My mother insists on my stepfather getting married in my living room in an off white skirt suit. “It’s not classy to have another big wedding.”

It’s not considered offensive to celebrate second, third, and even fourth marriages in any way we choose. Sometimes we are happier about our subsequent marriages and celebrations should reflect that. Sometimes, however, we can get too caught up in new loves and lose sight of the fact that others have feelings as well about how we choose to move on and what we share with the world.

Even if you’re a successful ex-wife who has a handsome man and a great career, it can be difficult to see your “love of your life” fall in love again with someone he once loved. Even if the ex isn’t a charismatic actor who has aging spectacularly, it can be painful to watch their exes leave. This is why most people after a divorce try to be cautious about what their ex-partners think of new relationships. This is why we feel the need to block or unfollow our ex-partners on social media after a deep and meaningful relationship ends. Even if we are over them completely. It’s painful to see our ex-partners move on, get married and proclaim that they have found their truest, most pure, deepest love. This love is better than the one they had. Jennifer Garner isn’t immune to feelings of pain, even though she happens to be Jennifer Garner.

We aren’t likely that she will complain. Jen has expressed her gratitude and sources claim that J.Lo is a positive influence on Ben. They are told she is happy for them. I will venture to say that she is. She appears to have loved Ben so much that she wants him to be happy. As Bennifer 2.0 is consumed by the wider public, and more juicy details are being revealed daily by the couple, it’s hard not to admire J.Gar for her resilience and ability to thrive in all of this. It’s true, not many people are as strong or classy as J.Gar.

We already know that the Bennifer 2.0 wedding will be amazing. According to Hollywood Life, Jen and Ben want a grand and extravagant wedding. No expense will be spared, according to a source close to them. Nobody would expect anything less. However, I wonder if it is possible to be sensitive in public displays of new relationships, regardless of whether they are famous or not. True love is true love regardless of how you show it.

A second chance romance can be a wonderful thing and is the main focus of this story. There’s also a quieter and less dramatic story about an ex-wife, who remained strong through it all. Rare diamonds are not common. Although it doesn’t make headlines, this one is still worth marveling at.